Hi lovely readers. Let me first thank all of those lovely, patient and wonderful people who take time and read my long long posts. I hope it makes some difference in your lives. I sincerely ♥ heart ♥ you.
What do you think this post could be about? Image? Image of what? You?
It’s the body image that I am talking about. 🙂 who is fit and who is not? Who is fat and who is not? But who is to decide?
Aren’t we all perfect and imperfect in our own ways? But why does our world comes crumbling down when it comes to the way we look?
When it comes to body image, I believe it’s the mirage that other people are forcing it upon us, as truth. And, we are so convinced with that mirage, that we internalise it as our image. That’s were the conflict between our image, and their mirage starts.
I have seen every other person: my age, younger, or much older people complaining about how they look bad. Their genuine concerns and questions and re-questions on whether they are looking okay, before they step out. I am sure even as they step out there are million thoughts in their mind that is running at the speed of light.
I very often, come across people passing lewd comments on others for the way they look, the way they dress, and most disgustingly, they way they are. Okay, there is little that can be in control, which the others can advise upon.. the lifestyle. But are those critics really interested in your change because of which they enter your head and bring you down the ladder that you’ve struggled so hard climbing?? Definitely not. If it’s their concern that’s acting upon.. They wouldn’t shame us the moment they meet us.. Right?
There is a fine line between body shaming, and complimenting. Let me get this clear, the sarcasm that comes along with a positive statement is definitely not a compliment, you guys!!
For most of you all, who would ask me if I really understand those humans who go through body shame.. Yes. I do. I am a fellow human, who lives the same way you all do, and I am, sadly, not invisible.
You know why I love living away from my home and the people I know, because I have a huge advantage of not having to go to public gatherings where I am greeted with the statement of “OMG, you’ve put on so much weight” (my mind: oh wow I dint know that), “oh, you’ve become fat from the last time I saw you (oh thanks for letting me know)“, “hi, oh wait, have you increased a size or two (Ummmm, I really dint know it when I was trying out all my unfitting clothes today)“, “Hey, why don’t you consider working out or eating healthy? (Do you really know if I am trying or not? *STFU!*)………….. and the list goes on.
Suppose, I talk about my body insecurities to the people who I meet new, they are just like, OMG, you are just so perfect, mad or what!! But when I don’t receive the same from people who I’ve known for years, and who I thought know me well, it’s a moment of disbelief and confusion. Who is true?
Like most people (I do not want to distinguish between men and women here, because every human being is being violated when it comes to what is appropriate to be said), I have always wondered, why is that person poking their nose in my business. I had also tried building a super strong wall against it. I started working on it myself, because “I know it’s all in my head”!!
But is it really just in my head?? I don’t see this true, because although I work on myself, and load myself with positive comments, surround myself with people who genuinely care for me, it makes no difference.
Because, someday, some comment from that random person, when I am in my most vulnerable state pierces my mind so hard. Someday, it enters my head and begins breaking me down, and it takes time for me to build up on it again.
To be honest, there are things that cannot be explained to each and everyone who passes comments on you. I don’t think we have the time, nor the need to get it through their thick head. You are you, because you have your own struggles to handle. The random comment passed from a person who meant something to you once, shouldn’t break you down, because “we” have to have the mental strength.
But why is my mind acting weird, although I have trained it so well to behave well during times of crisis. Why do I sometimes have tears rolling down my cheek, or a war happening between my positive side (Mr. X) and the negative side (Mr. Y) inside? Mr. X says, dude chill, he/she is bullying you, and don’t let it inside, and Mr. Y says, what if it is true, what if you are all about that.. Mr. X says, seriously? Think about the times you loved yourself and saw yourself as the best, and Mr. Y contradicts, oh no child, those are lies, the truth is right in front of you, you are nothing great, nothing to be loved, you are rubbish and you are not perfect….. 💔
But wait, before we talk about self love, and how you should improve on yourself, strengthen your self-image and self-esteem, and how you have to work on your confidence and positive thinking.. God Dammit. Stop that!!!! Stop pressurising yourself to be positive, it is impossible to feel positive when you are feeling absolutely negative.
It is okay to feel negative, it is okay to have insecurities, it is okay to feel bad about the way you look, about the way you are, and about what others say!! But know something, you choose to define yourself, so after all the sobbing, and swearing done.. Pick yourself up and put yourself back.
Everybody is perfect and imperfect, Everybody has a black and the white, your body is made of different colors, there is white, black, brown, pink, red and other shades inbetween that exists even if you don’t want it to. 😊 Your hair and skin and the eye ball, your lips and the nails and your palm, your blood, your arms, your internal organs and your tears, everything has a colour, every colour is different and you want it or don’t wait it, it exists. The shades of difference, is the shade in you.
You exist in those shades. You are neither perfect, not imperfect, your are beautiful just inbetween. Let me please remind you of the amount of body work that goes into the magazines, movie and other media. The image that you see is not the real image. Beyond the make up, laser and other grooming works, there is a whole lot of computer work that plays a major role. You can be a cover girl, provided you want to be in that field. Being the girl next door, an everyday human being, who walks around on the roads, travels around the city in pollution, sand and dust with care and no care, with no time to pack your food for the day, nor to take an hour for workout… you are you. You are the best version of you, and you know you will change if you want to. And that change, should be for you, and from you. ❤❤
Enough said, this is not just about the external looks and the need to flatter others.. I am sure you are much more than what the society speaks of you. You are wonderful and you are the best. You could be crumbling down and breaking within, let it be. Accept that there are two sides of you, and when one comes, the other will follow. Don’t let it affect you too much, you’ve been there before, you will cross it this time too.
The mirage that others have of you, is not you. Although the mirage is beautiful to see through your eyes, it’s non-existing. Although you want to accept the mirage, make your own image of who you are. You are beautiful, you are perfect. 🙂
Love. Self love!
Care, for yourself!
Live, with all of you!